Aren’t you lonely all by yourself?
This past week at work, a colleague taking time off work opened the door to an unexpectedly enlightening experience for me. To frame the situation, this colleague and I don’t get along and we’re the only two sharing the room. There is something going on in their life that turns them into a bully, and I’m a fiercely independent introvert who has placed boundaries.

I’ve lost count of how often some version of the lonely sentiment was made. People can thrive off noise, even negative noise. The presence of people is more comforting than being by oneself. Except it isn’t for me. I live in an existence where my own company is a treasure. Where I recharge within the quiet, and finally feel like myself. Where random thoughts are being chased to create whole worlds waiting to be explored!

It’s hard to explain that last one. But if you know, you know.

And for those that don’t, the question becomes “aren’t you lonely all by yourself?”. If my response is no, I’m brushed off as petulant or labeled a problem. If I say nothing or give vague affirmations, I validate their assumptions. Having enough of it by Friday, I stopped what I was working on to respond with a simple question. “Why would I miss this peace? Think about what you’ll hear when you walk through next week.”

It made them pause long enough to think. But it also gave me pause so that I could realize that every time I dismiss or react to justify being at peace in the quiet, what I am actually doing is telling myself that I’m not enough. The very thing that I am so terrified of.
No longer will I dismiss who I am, and I won’t jump to justify it either. I know who I am. A quietly independent introvert who values peace. And because of the peace I experienced this past week, I’ve created one of my favourite pieces to date that I want to share with you! Usually we see a phoenix rise out of the fire. But my heart has always belonged to the waters.
Selina