Two women separated by 25 years sit at a table. One has a mocha. The other holds a latte.
Their relation is easy to see. I suspect it’s more their laugh than anything else. But as the conversation moves along, it becomes apparent that it’s more than this one thing they share.
My mom likes to paint. And I don’t mean on a canvass. The walls of a house. This woman misses painting walls. I can’t even jokingly mock her because I really enjoy it too! The closest thing to a nickname my mom ever had was being called ‘Evy’ by only the tiniest handful of people. I’ve never been interested in nicknames, and certainly never longed for one. Yet, there was one for a short time that only a few people called me by. She hates fruit in her salads and loves green onions. Ok, that last I can’t understand but come on, we’re mother and daughter. We’re not carbon copies of each other!
To her core, my mom is a caregiver. At the drop of a hat, she’ll stay all night at your side in a hospital. And yet, asking for help is one of the hardest things she can imagine doing. To this day, I still feel I’m letting others down if I ask for help for myself.
My mom is pretty amazing! And to find out how many funny, silly, and deeply rooted core values we share fills my heart.
This weekend our recent normal saw a shift. COVID made an appearance at my grandmother’s Care Home. A resident within her wing. That means the home is on a lockdown. Even compassionate care for the palliative is on hold. Funny thing is, a palliative diagnosis will still run its course. Seeing your mother cry tears of hopeless agony; it takes something important out of you that will take a very long time to return.
So we sat alone together grieving over our coffee. What began as tears, turned into reminiscing which turned those tears into giggles and eventually into laughter. Only 25 years separate us. And this weekend, I found out just how short those 25 years really are.
I hope you find your connections with each other. Over the phone, over video, or in person, pick up your favourite comfort drink and that conversation. I don’t think you’ll regret it!
Cheers and Blessings, Selina Elliot