In her final days, hanging onto the memories that slip from her weakening grasp, she directs those who sit by her side. The order is wrong. The placement of the photos should be fixed. Why? It’s hard to say. It’s just an overwhelming feeling she has which tells her the way it must be.

This weekend I couldn’t sit by her side. A new order takes form, and what once was is no more. There are plenty of examples of why change is good. Even some silver lining within the dark cloud of COVID. But these aren’t things I see right now. I see arms that are empty because she’s not in them. I see through tears that do not dry. And I hold to these memories we’ve made together.

Friday nights living with grandma. We’d order pizza and pop, invite your friends over so that you all could teach me how to play card games by “your rules”. We’d stay up till 9pm, then have night lunch. After that, we’d all say goodnight. And I’d sleep better those nights than any night out.

My sister and I have our own version of those nights. Ours usually falls on a Sat when we’re both off work. A quiet house, a warm mug of tea, snacks, and a video game we get to share. On these days there are no problems to face, no errands, no chores. Just two sisters hanging out, laughing about nonsense, and creating our windowsill memories!

We’re coming closer to Christmas. And it’s going to look a little different this year. For those you can’t physically hold close, hold them dear within your heart. Place them all upon the windowsill and sit with them. Give them a call, if you can. I promise, they need you every bit as much as you need them!

Cheers and blessings, Selina Elliot