Often it’s visualized as ego. Pride. Narcissism. ‘I’m the center if the universe because I’m so important. So wonderful. So essential.’
But what about when it’s the opposite? When that inner voice constantly echoes the word, worthless. How I’m not needed, or wanted. Hated. And used. My worth is tied up in my use. What do people get from me? What do they deserve? What can only I give them?
And if I’m not able to give them what they need; what will happen to them? What void did I leave? What gap did I not fill? What end did I bring about?
The self-importance this insecurity exudes would dwarf the most arrogant. Am I truly so pivotal that others cannot continue on without me? Are others so inept that they lack all skills of functioning? And do I really want the responsibility of absolutely everyone around me? Was I made to carry the universe on my back?
Ok, that last was a touch sarcastic, yet relevant. I don’t have the tools to save the universe. Certainly don’t have the skillset to save the world. I need to be realistic so that I’m not setting unattainable goals. What I can do is reach people with my writing. So that I can let you know:
You’re not alone in how you feel!