Boundaries

Have you loved someone?

That all consuming love that would have you do anything to make them smile? Have you striving to show them that they matter? And have you taking note when they need a little extra care? The love that has you quick to come to their defense, and even quicker to pick them up?

Can we love ourselves like that?

Those actions are because we’ve set boundaries around the ones we love. We don’t tolerate them being used, abused, or taken advantage of. Boundaries set guidelines for behaviors. What falls outside of those boundaries is not acceptable.

But do we carry those boundaries over to ourselves? Or do we drop them because we forget that we too deserve to be loved?

Do we defend ourselves when dark thoughts threaten? Support and raise ourselves in these moments when we need it most. Encourage ourselves. Care for ourselves. Love ourselves.

What if we set up those same boundaries about us which we place around those we love?

The old saying goes, treat others as you would want to be treated. Yet, we treat ourselves with disregard. Imagine if we treated others that way! So, maybe some of us need to start treating ourselves the way we treat others.

This may not be the answer you want, but it will get the result you are after.

Boundaries have been a particularly hard thing for me to establish. I don’t want to hurt someone or make them feel unimportant, nor abandon them when they need me. Is it the fear of letting someone down? Or is it fear of the being the reason someone is hurt?

Fear is at the root of it, either way. But boundaries are not about letting someone down. Nor are they about placing others behind you. They should be about setting importance for others as well as for yourself. Because we should know, just as we know of our loved ones, that we are worthy of our love.

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