I love you despite being gay. I accept you even though you have tattoos. I won’t ever stop praying for you…because inherently you are flawed and on the wrong path in life.

Once upon a time, this girl thought that she was a straight Christian. But being on the right path, didn’t feel right. It was after church one day, out with the College & Career group, that a song came on the radio as we were sitting down to lunch. It was “Be As” by Prozzak. This habit has grown strong over the years, but even at that time I began singing along without realizing that it was out loud. Being a terrible singer hasn’t stopped me.

There’s a specific line within the song. Fans of the song will likely know the line without being told. ‘Be as gay as you want to’ flowed from my lips. Among the large group there were only two emotions coming at me; disgust and fear.

You like this song?
You don’t agree with it though, do you?

The song, to my heart, speaks of accepting yourself as well as others not for who you think they can be, but for who they are. What was once seen as a flaw, is seen as beauty now. Throughout the years I’ve hung onto this message because I want to love people for the spirit inside, not for the packaging. It would take me a number of years, but I did find me the first time I heard the most amazing word; pansexual!

After the incident at the restaurant, I walked away from the church. Not from my spirituality, not from God. But from the fear and the disgust within their gazes and within their words. It doesn’t feel right that God would want me to live with these emotions inside me.

I love you despite being gay. I accept you even though you have tattoos. I won’t ever stop praying for you.
These lines became the norm, and I still hear them more than I should. There shouldn’t be conditions on love. There shouldn’t be conditions on self love either. It’s easy to hear the negative, even if it’s only inferred, because our minds play it on repeat. And what if it’s true?

I’m here to let you know that it’s not true. You are worth more than you feel. And if you have no one to give you a hug, consider my arms your safe place.
Selina