Is it ever okay to expect someone to smile because I’m insecure? A smile means that it’s okay to approach you. A smile brings about the same in others. Be the sunshine everyone else deserves. You don’t know what I’m going through, so be kind and be approachable.

And be fake as hell!

I’m going to take a stand here that maybe not everyone agrees with. But if you’re not into smiling right now, don’t you dare smile for someone else’s sake. Growing up, it was common to be pressured into “acceptable behaviour”. Smile because it makes the world better. Don’t complain or you’ll be a burden. If you have to cry, do it quietly when you’re alone.

That type of mentality is toxic. Its why abuse goes unreported. Why anxiety can be crippling. And why sometimes the only voice we have must be anonymous.

I’ve spent my life smiling because it means no one is focused on me and therefore I am not a burden. If I’m okay, everything is okay. And if I’m not okay, I must hide it with a smile. Being a burden was the worst thing I could be growing up. It hasn’t become better being an adult.

Though not solely for this reason, the person I admire the most is my sister because she doesn’t smile unless she means it. There has to be a good reason for her smile. So, when I’m the reason it does come out, you’re damned rights I’m proud of myself!

On the other side of that, her not smiling doesn’t mean that she’s upset. When I hear people at work chiding her to smile, it’s upsetting. And my fur is all ruffled. If the result of someone’s placid face is your discomfort, please first ask yourself why.

Telling someone to smile for the sake of your comfort…it must be a form of gaslighting. Isn’t it? There are many reasons not to smile such as I’m focusing on the job at hand. My face needs to rest. I’m merely chilled at the moment. This spreadsheet is awesome, but I don’t know that I should be smiling at it.

So, can we all just relax a little, and not take it personal when someone isn’t smiling?
Selina

I sketched this mashup for my sister as a gift. Please note that I don’t have rights to either character within the sketch, and I’m not selling the artwork. It is purely for fun and giggles for my amazing sis!